Sunday, May 4, 2008

Have you ever been told, “ You need to study/exercise/ clean your room,” only to respond, “ But I don’t feel like it!”?

This is a passive thinking yet not active. It’s a mere absence of feeling is all it takes to stop them from doing what they should do. Kick away this habit; it’s a sense of laziness. Being lazy won’t get you anywhere.

Another story – Sandra made the forty-five minute drive to the doctor’s office, only to be told by a nurse, “ Oh, I’m sorry, but it is our policy not to treat minors unaccompanied by a parent.”

Sandra explained that she had called earlier, specifically noting that she was bring her brother in as she had often done, due to her parents’ work and travel schedules.

The nurse stood firm. No parent, no treatment.

Sandra could have really let the nurse have it; she had added this errand to an already jam-packed day. Her brother was hurting and needed help, and it looked like she would be driving ninety minutes round-trip, all for nothing. The whole endeavor seemed like a colossal, frustrating waste of time.

But Sandra remained calm and loving. She called her dad, who was visiting his mother at the time. He said that he would come over and take care of the situation. Earlier that day, he had felt led to stop by our office to pick up some of my books and tapes even though he had no idea what he was going to do with them.

He arrived at the medical office and the women who helped him with Daniel’s paperwork asked if he was a minister-and if he was Joyce Meyer’s husband. He told her yes, and she said she had seen me on televisions. They talked awhile and Dave ended up giving her one of my books on emotional healing, in response to a need he sense in her. So, two people’s needs were met that day: Daniel’s physical ones and a medical professional’s emotional ones.

The main point is: What if Sandra had lost her patience with the nurse and started complaining and protesting? What kind of impression would she have left with the medical staff? Think about the woman at the registration desk. Sandra bore suffering and frustration with patience. (Story abstracted by Joyce Meyer – Battlefield of the Mind for Teens)

Don’t ever play Blame Games. What do I mean? Blame game is a game when we point fingers at others when we know we are in the fault but yet we try to avoid/escape the fact that we are not the one who did it.

This will affect you because once you get used to it, you will slowly start to adapt to this habit, and soon you realize you will feel regret and remorseful.

Do you ever get Jealous easily, feeling that you’re not worth of someone expectations and they get do better than you in other ways or their have better talents than you? Sure, you should do your best at school, in sports, in music or drama, of whatever your thing is. The problem comes when you can’t enjoy what you’re doing unless you win-unless you get first chair, first place, or first prize. If you become jealous or bitter every time you see someone who has something you don’t, your life is going to be miserable. They are torments from your heart.

Indeed, it’s a straightforward attitude but we must overcome it, let not jealousy control us. I spent many years envying anyone who looked better than I did, or who had talents I didn’t have, I secretly live in competition with others. It was so important to me that everything of my appeal must be better than others.

However, someone being better in you in this area could not compare with you in other areas E.g. Singing, Break dancing, Rapping. Everything is not lost if someone is better than you, you still have other talents that is deep within you. Everyone is flawed; no one is flawless in this world. We cannot just keep thinking about why we are not talented in the way we wanted, and feel hatred and start to despise yourself, as you feel unworthy. Being physically and mentally positive attitude is the mindset to freedom.

Think about it, perhaps your friend beat you in your exams and everyone start to applause loudly, your heart doesn’t feel right. You feel that he shouldn’t get the marks he deserved, and you cannot find peace. You can’t gain recognition from other people proving yourself you are worthy. However, being envy at other people is not going to help you, it affects your thinking. You wanted revenge; you wanted to win him, this and that. All is not lost my friend; being having a positive attitude is the way to keep up your effort to do things efficiently.

Don’t be afraid to lose to the other person, he/she may not have the other talents you have. Everyone in this world is talented, even the most unwise person. Take stock of your jealous thoughts and feelings. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself – saying that “Yes, I may be jealous, but I’m not going to give up. I will continue to work harder even though he/she only puts in less effort but he/she can do well.” Yes sometimes other people might only imply less effort to get the job done, but the more effort we put in, we will learn new experiences, new abilities, and who knows – talents within us! It’s hard to keep a positive mindset, I know. I’ve been a victim before who’s so jealous of minor issues, but I kept thinking that even I’m being jealous, what’s the point? So lets stop thinking so negatively and stay positive at all times, even though it’s difficult. Keep trying and never give up!
I’m terribly disappointed in any situations or circumstances when adults think lowly of youths and teenagers.

Before I perpetuate my thoughts, I would like to make this clear that youths and teenagers also do have priority in speech and thinking. It doesn’t mean that adults should only speak about their views and think that they are self-worthy in other people judgment.

I’m just an ordinary teenager, just like any other teenagers in Singapore. I do things, which mostly teenagers do, and I like to observe people. I also know that I have great potential being a psychologist because I know people thoughts, feelings, and other things, which I could not explain to you in words.

People treated me as if I’m a small kid, a 15 year-old kid? Who’s going to listen to me? Let me make this clear once and for all. I do have my great priority thinking, great understanding between adults and teenagers and I know how pragmatic society works.

If judging by age, it is not the clear statement, which adults should have in mind as such, is the wrong concept of thinking. Many people said that experience counts and yes, I do agree. But this does not match with the concept that experience and age should be equivalent towards a person judgment. Somehow, in unexplainable words, teenagers have the ‘thinking’ like an adult.

It may all seems confused for people like you. I know what adults are usually thinking, and don’t ask me how or why, because I have the instincts or knowledge to know what adults are thinking.

Somehow, teenagers and youths have great potential in doing things, such as fighting for their rights. You should know that rebellion from teenagers and youths has increased tremendously in the past few years. Such cases are like rioting, argument between teachers or adults, lying, fighting, quarreling, and other forms of inappropriate behaviors and actions.

2 Causes could only cause this outcome, which is either ‘lack of trust and faith in youths or teenagers’ or ‘being condemn till changed’, if not worse that is neither both. Firstly, adults usually have great enticement by having distrust on their children or teenagers. This caused great miscommunication and distrust towards both parties due to lack of trust and faith, thus youths think that adults don’t trust them, who will? Answer is simple, teenagers understand each other, and thus they hang out outside frequently more than staying at home and trying to talk out their feelings with their parents. I usually know adults hate admitting mistakes especially in front of their children and thus, this led to great misunderstanding and further tension rose.

The other cause is ‘condemnation’. Parents always condemn their children no matter what they do. Take for an example, when a child failed their exam badly, at least 85% of their parents would be angry and start to admonish their child “Why didn’t you get well for your paper?” ‘Why’ here ‘Why’ that. Thus, children felt disappointment instead of encouragement. Parents should encourage them to do better instead of reprimanding the child. It’s not as if the child wanted to fail badly. Children hence felt that studying was worthless, and futile because they knew that their parents wanted more from them no matter how well they do and thus led to further tension. Greediness will take to tension, remember that.

I’m not saying teenagers are not at fault too, but then mostly the problems lies with the adults and adults should not put the blame on children but only on themselves, with the lack of anticipation of adult’s encouragement and trust, teenagers would get out of hand and even further tension would rose.
Ever thought of dealing with violent and tough students? Being an adult, saying who knows it all? It’s up to you whether you would want to listen to a 15 year old teenager who knows what teenagers do.

Suspension? Detention? Caning? I think this would make students even more rebellious. Yes, you might say that what could I do? I sure know how to deal with students nowadays.

What you’re doing now is not really helping them. You’re giving them a chance to social with the people outside and what you have done for them is nothing. Yes, you gave them detention but do they really care or even concerned about it? Do they really care about their future? I guess not.

Teachers and Discipline masters, being an adult do take lots of responsibilities, isn’t it? Adults always say that we must respect our elderly and teachers and you know why? Yes, you may know why and the answer is that because adults have more experience than what teenagers have and also adults learn how the pragmatic world is like. Yes, I do agree but then do you somehow realize some students are wiser than adults as in knowledge. I’m not saying about studies but being sensible enough?

Do you know how bad students came about? The answer is Teachers lose faith in students and kept scolding them instead of consoling them. You might say “What? I don’t get it.” Take an example, when you have a student who did not do well for his test yet instead of consoling them, you asked the student why didn’t you study hard for the test? Do you know how much agony you pierce through into the student’s heart?

Teachers always say that if students have problems, we could look for them. I don’t see it coming at all. This is just another one of the lies adults like to say and students from young took the habit to learn from it. I had trouble once and I was depressed. I talked to a teacher and I could read her mind and she wasn’t concerned about it.

I could read people’s mind whether you believe it a not. I know whether you’re interested in what I’m saying or speaking. I also do have problems in my studies and whenever I asked teachers for help, they asked to read from my textbook. I’m so frustrated and I’m just speechless.

Teachers do have another bad habit is they like to assume and judge. What do I mean? Take for an example a teenager, named John, he sits down; his friend dropped his eraser and asked John to help him pick it up. John grasped the eraser and just at that instance when John turn his back head and shoulders to return his friend eraser, the teacher scolded him for not paying attention. Thus, John felt upset and hurt and John tried to explain but the teacher told him to keep quiet.

Is the situation familiar? Yes, indeed. Many of these situations I’ve seen before and I know what the outcome would be like. I’m not saying teachers are at fault. Students somehow also are responsible for such atrocities behavior in class like shouting, screaming or not paying attention. They behaved like they were a bunch of monkeys. I felt the class wasn’t conducive anymore. It was more like a zoo for me. I was terribly upset when I heard bad comments and opinions from the people outside saying this school were meant for gangsters, hooligans, etc. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing but in fact, I have to agree with them.

This was indeed a bad school and even those excellent students were being criticized as if they were also dreadful students. Somehow I really wanted the chance to give some senses into those students and tell them how studies are important for us but I wasn’t given the chance to talk.

Yes, you see on television, adults talking about their views but what about students? Yes, I know, they are shy, scared, lazy to talk about it, etc. I know, but what about the views of teenagers? And do you know how bad students also do come about? In this world, all students are good and no one was bad at all. It was the fault of teachers who did not care for the students and they don’t believe teenager’s words. They think that teenagers are slacking, and in the alternate way, they tend to fight for their own rights. This is what it is happening in the system.

I hate to say this but somehow, you got to listen to a teenager once and it could change your life.
I'm terribly disappointed towards most Singaporeans...Most of the Singaporeans don't treasure what they have right now...

I felt so remorseful and guilty as I can't help those people who are in need and people in other countries...look at Africa or India...there are many starving children out there...no clothes...no home...and without food and water to eat and drink...Even now...We had converse shoes, branded clothing and bags...Sushi, Shark fin...All this wonderous desire in our life...cannot be compared with all those in Africa and other poor countries...We, Singaporeans should appreciate what we have right now and shouldn't ask for more...

Even the slightest things such as light snacks, bread or biscuits...Is a great gift to the poor countries...Tears, hunger...all in the children eyes and some poor families had to abandon or even sold their children to get sufficient money to support the family...I really want to help them...I want to give them all my unwanted things...

We should appreciate everything we have in here...terrace house...hand phone...Computer...All this cannot compared to what they have in their life...not even a proper housing...not even a decent meal...I felt that we don't understand the meaning of life...

We always spent money on unwanted needs...even a cup of coffee means a lot to those poor countries...like in India...People are suffering, they work days and night to earn profit for their families...Even hard labors...Right now...you might be enjoying life...in a bungalow...playing your new game...other people out there are suffering...scrawny and skinny bones...those poor families...

I really wish that there is this opportunity for me and my passionate friends to help all those people who are in need and when I am old enough...to be more sensible, I would want to be a social worker and help all those people who needed help around the world....